My New Year Resolutions

Yes, I'm back from vacation so you can all start checking here again:

My resolutions for 2009

1. To remain zestfully clean
2. Not to make fun of Michelle (at least on days that don't end with a y)
3. Try to make it through all the Curious George books this year.
4. To spoil myself and get my clothes martinized once a month (btw, what the hell is martinizing?)
5. Will finally stop watching Mayberry RFD reruns.
6. To match my donations to BHS and the University of Arizona from last year (not that hard to match $0)
7. To collect the 4 million dollars Richard owes him (yes, he really does owe me that much, just ask him)
8. To do everything I can to make Obama a success
9. Will grow my hair back so I can have the same hairstyle as disgraced Illinois governor Blagovich
10. By year's end, be able to beat california governator Arnold in arm wrestling.